SO WHAT’D I MISS

(yes, the title is a hamilton reference. sue me.)

HELLO HELLO HELLO.

SORRY.

A VERY BIG SORRY

AND SORRY AGAIN.

*Calms down* Whoowee, Trish, let’s try that one again.

Hi all! I am so very, extremely sorry for neglecting my blog over the past month. I’m not even gonna check cus, y’know *winces*

I’ve been quite busy with other stuff – school, home life, school, editing mah novel, school, reading, school, debating, school, school, loochs…

Wait, did I mention school yet?

Anyway, I took an unintentional hiatus (not really unintentional tbh but yeaa) from blogging because a lot of shitty stuff happened during may (including from previous years as well). I kinda just needed a break to reevaluate things, reconsider what sort of direction I want this blog to head in in general, and if I do want to blog.

And honestly? I may quit at some point. Blogging isn’t really working for me atm. But if I do I will notify you guys. I promise. Although don’t be surprised if I disappear from the blogosphere again for another month. I’m nothing if not unpredictable.

ALSO IT’S PRIDE MONTH BITCHES AND TODAY IS PANSEXUAL PRIDE DAY! *WAVES PRIDE FLAG LIKE A HAPPY QUEER* I LOVE YOU MY FELLOW PANHEADS!

A list of things I’ve done while I’ve been:

  • Started editing a printed out edition of Thanks, Universe (holding it for the first time was fkn incredible)
  • Planning a new novel which is currently not well known about, but I’m referring to it as #ConcertsGirlBook
  • Lost 99% of my sanity to school
  • Listened to Halsey’s new album 7 times (yes it only came out on the second)
  • Bought 11 books with birthday money
  • Turned fourteen
  • Come out to my family
  • Met the author who wrote the book that made me discover my sexuality (and y’all, it was a fucking incredible experience. I spoke to her for like 10 minutes at the book signing and I’m pretty sure everyone behind me was pissed as fuck but we were both blinking away tears and she stood up and gave me this massive hug and said ‘you know, this is the reason I write. I’m so grateful for this,’ and I started crying happy tears (a lot of happy tears) as soon as I walked out of the room. Just… Never deny anyone the power of seeing themselves on the page. Also, I may do a full post about it)
  •  Written a ridiculously long dot point
  • Drunk too many caramel frappes to try and get me through late night studying
  • Eaten a ridiculous amount of chocolate
  • Kissed a girl

Trish xx

you’re a girl with
glitter on your face &
stars shimmering in your
hauntingly beautiful eyes
and your hand looks
just small enough
to slip into mine
– I hope you stick around

That Short Story I Wrote

Once, there was a girl with wings.

Once, there was a girl who had stars, galaxies caught in the space between her skin, shimmering through her entire body.

They existed peacefully on a planet together, their lives as entangled within each other’s as a mess of embroidery thread. Their eyes were bright and they lived out their days in calm, days twisting on without any end in sight.

Their world was small and limited, and they didn’t know how to do anything but just to simply exist, wearing out day after day. They were friends but they weren’t; they were confidantes about the weird bizarreness of living in this place, and they shared their meager belongings with each other; their small stash of sugar plums, memories of times when they wer happy when the other cried.

Their bizarre friendship spanned centuries; neither of them aged in that time. Each remained looking like a small, placid sixteen year old girl. Long, glossy black hair tumbled down their backs, of which they took great delight in playing with, twisting into shapes they couldn’t name. They wore dresses stitched with moonlight stolen from the rocks they occasionally found stuffed full with it and they laughed and they just existed. There was no-one else but themselves. The girl made of stars, glittering with stardust. The girl with wings, white as bone, fluffy and soft, of ginourmous size that she wrapped them in when it was cold, when the sun didn’t heat them.

One day, a spaceship arrived on their small planet. It was the colour of dulled moonshine, and it burned to look at. It wasn’t the nice, soft moonlight that existed in the gaps in their dresses. It glared into their eyes, making them drag their heads away.

The person came out from the ship, someone like them, an elfin girl with skin the colour of the peaches they devoured when they were hungry. It stared at them with cool blue eyes, chips of ice, and spoke to them in garbled words they didn’t understand.

They stared at each other with eyes of bewilderment. What was this person doing here, landing their ship on the bunch of plums they’d just collected, squashing the grass underneath their feet with boots the size of rocks. Speaking to them in words that they didn’t understand?

The person rolled their eyes and went back on the ship, grabbing a square shaped device with smaller squares atop, sqiuggles crowding the smaller ones. She spoke her weird, unnatural language into it and pointed it towards the girls, the words scrolling through it.

The girls gasped as they listened to it.

They were part of a lost race, trying to regroup. The girl had been searching for many years for them. When they arrived where the rest of their people waited, there would be others waiting for them and delicious meals made up of much more than stone fruit and the occassional handful of grass that they stole for each other when they were desperate, eaten under trees with the leaves tickling their gaunt faces, trying to ignore their stomach’s pleas for more, more, more.

Now they had the chance to get away from this small, unforgiveable world, with it’s bramble thorns, lack of food, nothing to do but have endless conversations, filling in the gaps with hours spent asleep in piles of leaves.

Both of those girls wanted nothing more but to get on that ship, and meet new people, see new things.

Then the girl that had come to collect them dropped a bombshell. She would only be able to take one of them, and the other would have to live out their endless, boring days here.

And they would have to choose between them who would go, and who would stay.

Her tone was bored. She grabbed one of the plums off the trees around them, and said that she would be waiting in the ship. They had to choose by nightfall.

The girls sat next to each other, not daring to look at the one sitting beside them. They both desperately wanted to go. Desperately. They didn’t care what lengths they had to go to.

The girl with the wings announced that it would be wasted on the girl with the stars. She was an uncultured piece of swine, she didn’t know anything about the real world, she wouldn’t last a day with proper people. One day, she’d come back and say hello.

She was only halfway towards the craft when the girl with the stars pulled at her arm angrily, toppling her over. It wouldn’t be wasted on her, she said angrily. She was the one who had suffered more; her stars had been a hindrance, weighting down in her stomach like a sack of rocks. The other girl had used the wings to her advantage, exploring the skies around them, wrapping the feathery masses around her when she was cold. She had gotten all of the advantages. It was time for her to get something that she truly deserved.

The girl with the stars tried to run for the plane, but she didn’t get far before the girl with wings slammed her into the ground, blood leaking from her mouth. She didn’t care what sort of advantages she had gotten. This opportunity was hers, and hers alone.

They fought wildly with each other. They were lions fighting over the same bone, and they didn’t care about what all the other animals thought.

The girl with the stars begged with her once-friend, blood dripping freely down her chin. She told her of the beautiful life she’d still have here, without her. She didn’t need to go. She wouldn’t enjoy it as much.

Beneath the seemingly-calm, nice, words, she held a knife ready to unleash. She knew that she would go to any cost to get on that aircraft.

The other girl said no. She would enjoy it more. She needed it.

She almost felt the air as the knife came swooping down, felling her in one hit. Blood poured from her with no stopping and her eyes froze in place, as did her mouth. Staring in shock at the girl who she’d shared fruits with, whom she had considered a friend.

The girl with the stars froze, realising the impact of what she’d done. The girl with the wings… she was dead. She wasn’t coming back.

She got up shakily and walked towards the plane. She told the girl that they had chosen. The girl nodded and pointed towards a seat, which she slumped into.

It was worth it. She was going to the real world.

But the scent of regret lingered with her.

She wasn’t used to getting her happily ever after.

Well, this was random! I had to write a short story for school, so I thought I’d share it here. What’d you think? Comment below!

Trish xx

The Writer’s Tag // Wherein I Ramble About My Love For Words

Hi everyone! I’ve been extremely busy with school lately and just life in general, which hasn’t been fun. I’m quite tired and anxiety’s been a bitch lately, so yahhh. I’m hoping to get more into a regular schedule and post more book reviews and writing posts (I’ll hopefully be doing a post about True Love Doesn’t Exist soon) but I thought today I’d do the writers tag! I found it on the interwebs like, three days ago and can’t remember who from, so if you want me to tag you as the creator let me know haha! Let’s do this!

What do you write?

Mostly poetry and novels. I dabble in short stories, but they’re not my favourite as I don’t feel you can truly flesh out the world and the plotline. So yeah, poetry and novels are my favourite 🙂

What do you mostly write about?

I mainly write contemporary YA, with a healthy side dose of f/f and mental illness representation ❤ My characters are either extreme extroverts or quiet bookish nerds, and I love it. And my male characters tend to be really soft, sweet and emotional, because it should be normalized and encouraged that males are not always alpha and ridiculously hot and fit. Also, I’ve written precisely three male characters in my time soooo… Maybe I should write more? I’m thinking of writing a m/m centered around art sometime.

What’s your favorite thing about writing?

Just the euphoria of the fact that hell, I wrote something. I poured my heart into something. I did the thing. Also, I love characters. All of my novels are extremely character driven and I wouldn’t change it for the world.

What/Who inspired you to start/keep writing?

Mainly the novels and books I read. Published authors are my biggest inspiration, because if they can do it, so can I.

Who’s your favorite character you’ve made up?

I love Victoria from Thanks, Universe. I put a lot of myself into her character; we’re both introverted extroverts, we adore being around people, we’re both dreamers. She’s a beautiful smol cinnamon roll with blue hair and she’s pansexual and I just really love her, ok. I can’t wait for other people to read Thanks, Universe mainly because I want them to fall in love with Victoria.

When did you start writing?

….Um, I don’t remember. But my first novel was What Not To DO When Wearing Purple Lipstick. It still holds a special place in my heart. Even though I reread it recently and… Um, there’s quite a bit of fatphobia and slut shaming. So I don’t think I’ll ever really do anything with it. But it’s special to me, because it was the first thing I wrote.

First story you wrote?

^

Favorite story you wrote?

Thanks, Universe. I’m just in love with the world, the characters, the everything. It’s so special to me. I’m planning to write a sequel/spinoff of it later this year, and I’m incredibly excited. I have yet to figure out a plotline (whoooops) but I’m already in love with it.

Do you have a writing schedule? Like, do you write every day or just when you feel like it?

I try to write 500 words a day, but I don’t force myself to. Even if I only write one word a day, that’s one word I didn’t have the day before.

Do you want to be published?

Um, yes. I’m hoping to be published by sixteen. I think the first thing I’ll ever try and query is Thanks, Universe; it’s my best thing I’ve ever written, at least that’s what I think, and I just love it to pieces.

Are you a writer? What’s your favourite part of the process?

Trish xx

Talking is fun

Yo, I’m just gonna be talking for a bit.

Things are ok at the moment. Probably down to the fact that I’m on holidays, and have largely ignored all the homework I have. Fun stuff.

I’m trying to make sure to take care of myself at the moment. I’m making myself turn off all my technology at eight, and make sure to read for however long I want to. I’m eating really unhealthy junk food every now and then, and making sure not to beat myself up for it. Self love is important, y’all.

Camp Nano’s going ok. I wrote about 15k words of true love doesn’t exist, and decided to shelve it for a bit because I’m not really loving it atm. I’ve gone back to edits of Thanks, Universe which is fun because I haven’t written/edited any of it in a little while. I wrote a short story about a girl with wings and another who held the galaxies in her feet and their doomed love, and I may publish it on here at some point. Let me know if that’s something you’d want to read.

How are things for you?

Trish xx

sunshine award!!!!

Heyyy everyone! Today I’m going to do the sunshine award. I was nominated by butterflys and thegirlwithnoname, who are both insanely awesome people (psst, we need to talk more you two!) I’m not going to be nominating anyone or even linking the rules (geez I’m great) but if you want to answer them go ahead!

– Do you prefer reading or writing?

Reading. Reading is just such a unique pleasure, and I couldn’t live without it. I like writing, but it doesn’t have the same place in my heart as reading does. I learnt how to read when I was four, and it’s been extremely special to me ever since.

– If there was one thing you could change about the word, what would it be?

STOP. GLOBAL. WARMING. While I care about a lot of other problems, global warming is to me the most important problem. Cus if we don’t have a planet to live on, we don’t even have the chance to try and stop racism, sexism, homophobia, etc.

– What are your favourite bands/singers?

Melanie Martinez, Muncie Girls, Halsey, Daveed Diggs, Twenty One Pilots, Pentatonix, Lin-Manuel Miranda (that counts right?) Sara Bareilles, Jess Glynne, P!ATD (death of a bachelor is fucking stunning) and yeah, tonnes more.

– What are your views on gay marriage?

Well considering I am pans… *awkward laugh*

– If you could change your name to anything, what would it be?

Honestly? I’m fine with my name at the moment. Although I do like the name Kesley. So maybe that.

– Do you have any food allergies/intolerances? If so,what are they?

Nope, none! Whoop!

– In your opinion, what is the best ice cream flavour?

Caramel all the way.

– Where is you favourite place to go on holiday/ visit?

I’m a home person. Despite being an extrovert, I rarely ever enjoy actually leaving the house.

– What qualities do you look for in a friend?

Loyal, honest, willing to stand by me. I long for a really, really close friend, tbh.

– Big group of half-friends or small group of best friends?

Small group all the way.

– If you could attempt anything and be successful, what would you do?

CIRCUS PERFORMER. Hell yeah, I wanna swallow fire and walk on extremely high tightropes.

1. if you had two weeks left to live, what would you do?

Say goodbye to my friends and family individually, finish my novel and get it to a publisher so they would feel guilty and publish it (heehee) throw a huge party and eat too much.
2. what is your OTP and why? (if you have a few just pick one)

POE + FINN FROM STAR WARS OMGGGG I SHIP THEM SO HARD AND THEY MIGHT BE CANON IN THE NEXT FILM YES BITCHES
3. icecream or hot chips?

hot chips
4. if you could bring a fictional character to life, who would it be?

oh my god dON’T ASK ME THIS
but probably Frances Janvier, I love her to pieces and I want to be nerdy af with her.
5. when you are studying/working, do you listen to music, and if so, what sort?

Sometimes? It depends on the subject. And just whatever I’m into at the time haha.
6. what was the last tv show/movie/book that you cried about?

Black-ish. It’s such a good TV show and Lemons (the episode) made me cry because even though I’m white, it was just so good and deep cutting and I love it.
7. if you met you (hopefully that makes sense), would you like yourself as a person? why/why not?

Lol no because I’m very awkward when you first get to know me. You have to get to know me.
8. what is your favourite sort of fast food?

I’m a macca’s girl (altho their burgers are fucking shit)
9. who is your least favourite celebrity?

IGGY FUCKING AZALEA, I’m sorry but she’s a piece of white appropriating trash and I hate her
10. if you had to choose between saving the lives of your closest friends or your family, who would you choose? (sorry)

Fam
11. what is your dream job?

I really want to be a political journalist! Or a politician, either one of the two. Nah, but I’m really interested in politics and journalism so if I don’t become leader of the greens hell yeah I’m gonna be reporting on it.

Trish xx